Celebrities' Secret Thoughts

Have you ever wondered what kind of thinking is going on in celebrities' heads? Are their thoughts as interesting as their appearances, or are they rotten and vile, or those vain celebrities don't even think about anything at all but themself? I have tried using my telepathic power to read their minds and here is what I have discovered. (Don't take it too seriously; I was a little sleepy, so my extrasensory perception could have been unsound.)

Some say poor scatterbrained Britney who forgot to put on her panties has been abused mercilessly by the media. Wait a minute...She forgot? I don't think so. It was unmistakably deliberate! She intentionally flashed her private part. She knew that as soon as she opened the car door, all the hawkeyed paparazzi were going to snap their cameras. In other words, she's aware that she is a falling pop star and must try to get some kind of attention.

Is it possible that she genuinely forgot? Hmm...it is possible, but I'm not buying it. Not buying it AT ALL. If she is old enough to get married and have two children, she should be old enough to know when to put on her panties as well. Besides, most gentlewomen, even with their underwear on, would at least try to be a bit careful and wouldn't open their legs so wide when they get out of a car. You can call me uptight, but I really think every celebrity should keep their noony private.

Final suggestions to Britney: Go buy some panties at 99¢ Store. And also don't breed anymore; you're not mature enough to take care of children.

Demi and Ashton, despite their fifteen years of age difference, is one of the most enviable couples in Hollywood. The two always seem so in love, so into each other. They have proved that ages are just numbers and don't affect their relationship at all. Being quite a young stepfather, Ashton has impressively managed to get along with Demi's teenaged children as well as her ex-husband, Bruce Willis. Pictures of Demi, her husband and her ex hanging out together are often shown on Hollywood tabloids. Most of the time, Bruce seems pretty cool with it. But from this photo, it doesn't look like he really enjoys being the odd man out.

Since Jessica Simpson began dating her new beau, Tony Romo of the Dallas Cowboys, their relationship has been criticized almost incessantly. Some say they're perfect for each other. Some say she could be a huge distraction for him. Some even go as fas as saying that the Cowboys lost to the New York Giants in the playoffs because Romo had spent his time wastefully during the week before the game, by going on a trip to Mexico with Simpson. (Would people have made it such a big deal if he had taken some no-name girl to Mexico instead of her?)

Anyway, I have tried to use my telepathy to penetrate into her brain and succeeded, though I found nothing in it. It is really blank.

Although Simpson and Romo are the ones who have been blamed because of their "notorious" vacation, the person whose feelings have been hurt the most by such criticism turns out to be Terrell Owens, Romo's teammate. He tearfully told the media how unfair it is for people to point the finger at his quarterback. "That's my teammate!" he said, paused and sniffled miserably. "That's my quarterback!"

The fact that he shed his tears in front of the media is not that strange; I'm sure people have seen other big tough athletes cry before. It's the reason he cried that is so laughable. "That's my quarterback!!!" Well, I don't know what happened to the old T.O who used to be shamelessly pompous and inexhaustibly brassy. Now? He's as tame and lame as a kitty.

I have no comment for this. The picture explains it all!