Funny Whale News, Jokes and Trivia

Do you know that a whale penis is called a "dork"? So when people tell me I'm such a dork, are they actually calling me a "whale penis"?

Read odd and fun trivia about whales. Plus, explore some quirky whale news, cool video clips and sidesplitting jokes. Then you'll come to realize that whales are ridiculous!

According to ABC News, in January 2006, Michael Noonan, a professor of animal behavior at Canisius College in Buffalo, N.Y., discovered killer whales' gull-baiting strategy by accident while he was studying acoustic communications among killer whales, technically known as orcas, at Marineland of Canada in Niagara Falls, Ontario.

One day he noticed that one of the young whales spit regurgitated fish onto the water surface, then dove down and waited. When a hungry seagull landed on the water, the whale surged up to the surface and caught the seagull. Within a few months, the whale's younger brother adopted the practice, which they used repeatedly. Eventually the behavior spreaded, and five Marineland whales became very apt at supplementing their diet with fresh fowl.

"It looked liked one was watching while the other tried," said Noonan.

The capacity to come up with the gull-baiting trick and then share the technique with others - known as cultural learning - was once believed to be one of those abilities that separated humans from other animals. But nowadays biologists have discovered that certain animals, including dolphins and chimps, can also do this.

A wholphin is a rare hybrid, born from a mating of a bottlenose dolphin and a false killer whale. On the right are Kekaimalu and Kawili'Kai, mama and daughter wholphins at Sea Life Park, Hawaii. Kekaimalu was born 22 years ago after an odd coupling between a 14-foot, 2000-pound, false killer whale and a 6-foot, 400-pound, bottlenose dolphin who shared the same pool. Her size, color and shape are midway between the two species. She had actually given birth to two calves before. Unfortunately, one lived for only nine years and the other died only a few days after birth. As for Kawili'Kai's father, park researchers suspect it's probably the 8-foot long bottlenose dolphin named Mikioi, though the daddy dolphin seems to be totally unconcerned about his wholphin daughter.

No, it's actually not Moby Dick. Sorry Captain Ahab. Moby Dick is a spotted sperm whale with a white hump, but this one is a white killer whale with absolutely no spots!

On February 23, 2008, federal scientists spotted a rare white killer whale about 2 miles off Kanaga Volcano in Alaska's Aleutian Islands. "When you first looked at it, it was very white," said one of the researchers. Further observation, however, has proved that although the whale's saddle area is white, the rest of its body is actually yellowish.

For centuries, a white whale has been regarded as a mythical creature or the ghost of the sea. This emergence of a white killer whale, therefore, is like a dream being morphed into reality. And after all, Ahab wasn't hallucinated!

A few years ago, on April 1, in Wellington, New Zealand, a radio station announced that many killer whales had beached near Wellington's ferry terminal, which encouraged motorists to stop and have a look at the whales on the beach. As a result, a huge crowd of whale watchers headed there; traffic almost stopped; and heavy rain also made the road conditions very dangerous.

The "killer whales," the police later found out, were actually rubber dorsal fins attached to wooden blocks which had been fixed to the seabed.

However, a lot of people including the navy, believed the story on the radio. So a police boat had to go out to collect the fake fins before more motorists would fall for the April Fool's prank.

• The blue whale is the largest mammal on earth. It weighs 50 tons at birth and can grow to 150 tons.
• Some people believe that whales have the power to create earthquakes.
• The tongue of a blue whale is about the same size as an elephant.
• Narwhal whales have a horn, which is actually a tooth. Sailors once believed that narwhals were related to unicorns.
• Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.
• At nearly 50 percent fat, whale milk has around 10 times the fat content of human milk, which helps calves achieve some serious growth spurts - as much as 200 pounds per day.
• Killer whales are symbols of longevity and romance since they are believed to mate for life.
• It is said that if fishermen ever injure a killer whale, it will capsize the canoe sinking the fishermen to the Village of the Whales. Then the drowning fishermen will be transformed into whales themselves. Whales near the shore are believed to be humans who were transformed trying to communicate with their human families ashore.
• Native Americans believe that killer whales are enemies of the mythical thunderbird. The geography of some parts of the Pacific Northwest coast region is thought to be the result of a legendary battle between them.

Mr. and Mrs. Whale

Mr. and Mrs. Whale were swimming off the coast of Japan, when they noticed a whaling ship. Mr. Whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.

He said to his wife, "Let's swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink."

They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of the shore.

Mr. Whale was enraged that they were going to get away and told his wife, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized that she was becoming reluctant to follow him.

"Look," she said, "I went along with the blowjob, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen!"

Ask Jonah

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

Q: How do you circumsize a whale?

A: You send down four-skin divers.

Q: What do you call a baby whale?

A: A little squirt!

Q: In a pod of whales, how can you tell which one is gay?

A: He's the one that tips the boat and sucks out the 'seamen!'

Q: Why do lesbians like whales so much?

A: Because they have 50 foot tongues and breathe out of the top of their heads!

Japanese people have been using whale meat in their cuisine for centuries. They say it's very tasty and nutritious! Here are some of their special whale dishes:

• Sashimi of Onomi (meat from dorsal fin to the tail, a very fatty part)
• Sashimi of Akami (red meat)
• Sashimi of Aburo-Sunoko (root of flippers where fat and meat forms in striped layers)
• Whale Curry
• Genkai-zuke (pickled whale cartilage)
• Whale burger
• Whale hot dog